


Angel Eyes

by TillerFiller95



Category: Supernatural
Genre: College Student Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kidnapping, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sociopath, Sociopath Dean, Stockholm Syndrome, psychopaths
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-06-07 11:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6801715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TillerFiller95/pseuds/TillerFiller95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and his brother Gabriel are on a road trip when Gabriel stops to pick up two mysterious hitchhikers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ticket To Ride

"Don't do it, Gabriel," Castiel said sternly from the passenger seat, glaring at his brother. Gabriel was slowing down the car, ignoring Castiel completely. They came to a stop next to the two men on the side of the road because Gabriel wanted to be nice and ask if they needed a ride. It was stupid and dangerous. Castiel had seen enough movies to know picking up strangers was never a good idea. They didn't know these guys, where they were coming from or why they were hitchhiking in the first place. They could be ax murderers who just escaped prison and now were looking to kill two innocent people who were stupid enough to offer them a ride.

"We can't leave them stranded," Gabriel said. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"Exactly! They have plenty of places to hide our bodies!" Castiel retorted. Gabriel just rolled his eyes.

Gabriel always told Castiel he overreacted. And Castiel was a suspicious person, but you could never be to careful nowadays. Castiel watched the news. He saw all the fucked up things that happened everyday. He didn't want to end up the lead story tonight after they find his and Gabriel's bodies in a ditch somewhere.

The two men approached the car as Gabriel rolled down Castiel's window. Castiel kept his head forward, and his body stiff. "Hey, thanks for stopping." One of them said. His voice sounded rough and nasally.

"You guys need a ride?" Gabriel asked. Castiel was hoping they'd say no. Just politely decline so they could be on their way.

"Yeah, that'd be great," One of the guys, the same one who'd been speaking, leaned in the window. Castiel picked up the scent of alcohol on his breath. Great, Gabriel was about to let two drunk strangers ride with them.

"Hop on in," Gabriel unlocked the doors and the two men climbed in. "You can just throw your bags in the back with ours."

Castiel and Gabriel were on a spontaneous road trip suggested by Gabriel. Castiel was against it at first. You can't just drop everything and drive across country. It was completely unorthodox. It was hard to understand how Castiel and Gabriel came from the same family. They were total opposites. Castiel and the calm and rational one. He considered the consequences of all his actions before he acted. He liked order.

Gabriel on the other hand was unpredictable and impulsive. He acted first without thinking. If he had an idea, he just did it. He always said he "lived for the now" and it drove Castiel crazy. They always got asked how they got along so well. The answer was simple. They kept each other balanced. Castiel kept Gabriel under control by being his voice of reason. Gabriel brought excitement to Castiel's life.

Castiel didn't like to admit it but he was envious of Gabriel. He knew how to have fun. He hadn't a care in the world unlike Castiel who questioned every move he made. Castiel wished he could be like that sometimes.

Gabriel was usually smart about his decisions but now he was letting two strange men in the back of their car. That was too much for Castiel. He usually could go along with Gabriel's idiot ideas but this was where Castiel drew the line.

Castiel took a chance and looked at the men in the mirror. The first one was an older guy, middle aged maybe. He wore black pants and a blue button up, despite the warm weather. The next guy was younger, looking around Castiel's age. He had short, messy brown hair, and from what Castiel could tell, green eyes. He was only wearing a flannel and blue jeans. He was undeniably good looking.

Castiel may have stared a bit too long and the man looked up. Their eyes met in the mirror and he smiled, showing off his dimples. Castiel looked away quickly, embarrassed he'd been caught. There was something about the man's smile that was unsettling. It was genuine, yes, but something was off.

He wasn't getting good vibes from these guys. Sure they looked harmless. They were both normal looking guys but those were the ones you had to look out for. In the crime shows Castiel probably watched too much of, it was always the innocent looking guys, the charming ones, that were the killers.

Castiel risked looking up again and saw the brown haired one whispering to the other. The first guy smiled and nodded. Castiel nearly jumped when he spoke up. "Thanks again for the ride. So what are your names?"

"I'm Gabriel. This is Castiel."

Castiel waited for them to introduce themselves. They didn't. Instead, the older one said, "What's with the bags? You guys going on vacation?"

"Just an impulse adventure," Gabriel answered. "So where are you guys headed?"

"You can just drop off off at the nearest gas station."

Too bad they were in the middle of the fucking desert. There were no gas stations for miles.

The sun was starting to set. They were trapped in a car with two people who very much could be murderers. "What are your names?" Castiel found himself asking. Maybe knowing their names would make them seem less scary.

"I'm Alastair." The older man said.

"Dean," The other said, low and smooth. It wasn't the voice Castiel would have expected from such a big guy. Castiel looked in the mirror again and saw Dean was watching him. He felt a little uneasy. It wasn't one of those they happen to look at each other at the same time moments. This guy was full on staring. Castiel decided to keep facing forward, keeping his eyes on the road.

It got quiet after that. The only noise was the sound of the engine. At one point, Castiel considered turning on the radio. He didn't. A few minutes passed in near silence until Alastair said, "Do you mind pulling over? I gotta take a piss."

"Oh, yeah. Sure." Gabriel turned on his blinker, a pointless act since we were the only car out there, and slowed down to a stop on the side of the road. Alastair got out and walked around to a bush a few yards away.

"You know most people don't stop for hitchhikers," Dean said suddenly, leaning forward over the center console.

"Yeah, well we thought you two looked harmless enough," Gabriel said. He was drumming on the steering wheel absently.

"Yeah..." Dean trailed off. "Well, you thought wrong." The next thing Castiel knew, Dean had a gun aiming at Gabriel's head. Castiel's body froze in shock. "Now," Dean began in a low, husky voice. "Turn off the car and hand me the keys." When Gabriel didn't move, Dean snapped, "Now!" Both Castiel and Gabriel jumped and Gabriel scrambled for the keys, yanking them out of the ignition and all but throwing them at Dean. "Good. Now get out of the car and you-" He pointed the gun at Castiel. "Don't move."

When Gabriel suggested they take a trip, Castiel was weary enough as it was and not he had a gun in his face. Was now an appropriate time for an "I told you so?" Gabriel slowly opened the door and climbed out. Dean got out of the back.

"Please, just take the car and let us go," Gabriel pleaded, his voice unsteady.

"I am taking the car. But you're coming with."

Castiel's mind was going a million miles per second and he couldn't fully process what was going on. Without thinking, he threw open the door and jumped out. He ran but didn't get far. Almost instantly, he was grabbed from behind and lifted off the ground. He kicked and screamed but to no avail. "Where do you think you're going?" Alastair said in his ear. Castiel shivered. Alastair carried Castiel back to the car and threw him in the backseat, climbing in after. Gabriel was now in the passenger seat and Dean was behind the wheel.

"Alright. Cell phones and wallets." Dean said. "Right now. Let's go." Castiel pulled them out and Alastair snatched them away from him, Gabriel as well. He tossed the phones out the window and searched through their wallets for money. Dean started the car and pulled onto the road. Gabriel glanced back at Castiel. His eyes were wide, full of fear. He looked so small at that moment. Gabriel was older by four years. He was the stronger of the two. He was very protective over Castiel. They were always close, despite the age gap.

"So, boys," Alastair started. "How old are you?" Neither of them said a word. Alastair just laughed, twirling his gun around carelessly. Castiel prayed the safety was on. "Let me guess? College students?" Gabriel already graduated but he didn't bother correcting him. "These two sure are quiet., aren't they Dean? Turn on the radio or something." Dean turned the volume up and scanned until he found a station to his liking. Classic rock now filled the car.

"What the hell do you want from us?" Gabriel asked.

"You boys said you were going on an adventure right?" Alastair said, wearing a stupid smirk. Castiel had a nasty rebuttal on his tongue but kept his mouth shut. His heart was still racing and he wracked his brain for an escape plan. There was none. Jumping out was the only option but they were going seventy miles per hour so that was not a good idea. Castiel sighed and stared out the window. He should have told Gabriel no. He could be at home right now watching Netlfix or reading a good book.

They drove for about an hour until they finally hit a town. Castiel was confused. If these guys were going to kill them, why wouldn't they do it in the desert where there were virtually no other people. Dean pulled up to a ATM. Alastiar was going through their wallets again and pulled out their debit cards, handing them to Dean.

"Pins," Dean said simply. They kept their mouths shut. Alastair put his gun to Castiel's head.

"I'm a college student!" Castiel blurted out. "How much money do you think I have?" That was apparently not the correct response. Alastair hit Castiel across the face with his gun. Castiel yelped at the pain, holding his face.

"Hey!" Gabriel snapped, turning around in his seat. "Leave him alone!" Alastair pointed the gun at him.

"Chill out," Dean said and looked back at Castiel. "I think you'll find this will be a lot more pleasant if you cooperate with us."

"Pleasant?" Castiel spat. "You just kidnapped us. Why the fuck would I-"

"Cas!" Gabriel hissed in warning. Castiel shut his mouth. He expected Dean to get angry. Instead, he smiled, seemingly amused.

"I like you. You're feisty."

"Fuck you."

Alastair roughly grabbed Castiel's chin, forcing Castiel to look at him. "Look you little shit-"

"Let go of him," Dean said. "Now, Castiel, don't make me ask again." Alastair released Castiel who mumbled out his pin. Dean drained his account and did the same to Gabriel. Castiel hoped that money was all they wanted. Maybe now they'd let him and Gabriel go. It wasn't the case of course, but Castiel needed a little wishful thinking.

They stopped to get some gas and then Dean drove back to the interstate. Castiel's face ached and he was sure it was going to be bruised. Gabriel kept looking back at Castiel, probably to check on him. Castiel was fine. Well, as fine as he could be after being abducted by two psychos. It finally sunk in that this was happening. Castiel accepted the fact that this will likely not end well for him and Gabriel. He didn't want to give himself false hope. He was probably going to die.

After another couple hours, Castiel became tired. His eyes were drooping but he fought to stay awake. He didn't want to fall asleep with these guys. But he had gotten up early that morning after Gabriel busted into his apartment demanding him to go on this trip. He was so tired. Maybe if he just shut his eyes for a moment...

Castiel jumped when a hand landed on his thigh. Alastair was grinning suggestively at him. "You know, Castiel, you're very beautiful." He murmured, reaching up to caress Castie's cheek.

Castiel slapped his hand away. "Don't touch me!" He snapped. Gabriel turned around in his seat. He looked pissed.

"You are fiesty. Pretty hot."

"Leave the kid alone," Dean said half-heartedly. Alastair ignored him and scooted closer to Castiel. Castiel was now pressed against the door. Alastair was practically on top of him.

"Don't touch him!" Gabriel said angrily.

"Shut up," Alastair kept his eyes on Castiel. Castiel tried to push him away but Alastair pinned his arms down. "You ever been fucked, Castiel?" He asked in a whisper. The question made Castiel's insides run cold.

Dean suddenly swerved over to the side of the interstate. Alastair sat up. "What the hell?"

"Your turn to drive," Dean answered, putting the car in park. They quickly switched places. Castiel was relieved. Alastiar gave him the creeps. Castiel was exactly a fan of either of these guys but at least Dean kept his hands to himself.

Dean pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up. Gabriel's head turned back at the click of the lighter. "Does this bother you?" Dean asked in a rather unconcerned voice and blew smoke in Gabriel's face. Gabriel blinked and turned around. Dean chuckled, taking another drag. Castiel pulled a face. He never could stand the smell of cigarettes. He watched Dean inhale and exhale. He really was handsome. He had a strong, chiseled jaw with just a hint of facial hair. Castiel had no idea how such a good looking guy could be so terrible. Dean must have noticed him staring and held the pack out to him. "Want one?"

"No." Castiel mumbled. Dean shrugged and continued on. He flicked the ashes on the floor, not even bothering to roll the window down. Castiel inadvertently yawned. You'd think that after being abducted and having your bank account drained, you'd be too anxious to sleep. Not Castiel. He tried to fight it. He really did. But eventually it became too much and he succumbed to the fatigue.


	2. Motel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING. There will be some non-con in this chapter. Nothing too graphic but be warned.

Castiel wasn't sure how long he slept but when he woke up, he had his head resting on Dean's shoulder. Castiel shot up straight, freaked out. Dean gave him a questionable look, eye brow raised. Castiel averted his eyes, dropping his head down. Gabriel looked like he was asleep now.

They were on a back-road now. It was mostly empty. They've been with these guys for a few hours now and they were no closer to escaping. At least they were still alive, though Castiel didn't know for much longer.

"I'm tired of driving," Alastair said.

"Let's go to a motel then," Dean replied.

"What about these two?"

"They'll be fine."

So Alastair pulled into the first motel they came across. It was the most shady building Castiel had ever seen. It was a small brick building with a dimly lit sign that read Harbison Motel. The 'E' and 'L' were out. Alastair smacked Gabriel to wake him up.

Castiel was already planning. These guys were obviously armatures. They were bringing them to a motel where there were people. All Castiel had to do was scream for help. Easy as that.

While Alastair went to check in, Dean told them, "I already know what you're thinking. Scream and you're dead. Don't be stupid." He held up his gun. Castiel swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. Dean opened the door and had Castiel scoot over to get out. "You," He said to Gabriel. "Out. Now." Gabriel obeyed. He reached out to grab Castiel's wrist, squeezing it reassuringly. He seemed to be handling this better than Castiel. He always was the strong one.

Alastair returned with their room key and grabbed his backpack from the car. Castiel noticed a man standing over the balcony smoking a cigarette. Castiel opened his mouth to scream but then something was pressed into his side. Dean had an arm around Castiel's waist, holding his gun. Castiel felt his chest tighten. There goes his plan.

"Don't be stupid," Dean said again.

Their room was on the first floor and it was absolutely disgusting. It smelled like weed and sex, which probably was all this room was used for. The walls were an ugly orange color and there was a tiny TV on top of a chipped dresser. It looked right out of the 90's. The room had two beds, sheets stained with God knows what.

Castiel thought of another plan. Wait for them to sleep and then make their escape. Unless they slept in shifts, which Castiel highly doubted judging from the bags under both of their eyes. But apparently Dean had thought of that too. He forced Castiel and Gabriel into the bathroom and had Alastair bringing in the backpack. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and Castiel felt his heart drop. Maybe these guys were smarter than he originally thought.

Dean had Gabriel get in the bathrub and put of the cuff on his wrist. "Now you," He said to Castiel. "Stand here."

"No," Castiel said. "I'm not being handcuffed."

Dean grabbed Castiel by his hair, pulling him over. Castiel held in a whimper.

"Listen," Dean growled. "I've tried to be patient with you but you're really pissing me off. When I tell you to do something, you do it. Got it?" He put the barrel of his gun to Castiel's temple. "I've let you live so far but your one back talk away from me shooting your brains out. Understand me?"

"Y-Yes," Castiel stuttered out, losing all nerve he had. These guys were dangerous. The reality really hit him then. These guys were monsters. They would kill him and Gabriel and feel nothing. Maybe there wasn't any way for them to make it out of this alive.

Dean made Gabriel lift his arm so the handcuff was hanging over the shower rod and cuffed Castiel in, trapping them on the pole. It was extremely uncomfortable and Castiel was never going to be able to sleep like this.

"Have a good night, buys," Alastair said and then looked directly at Castiel. "Unless you want to sleep with me." He touched Castiel's arm. Castiel recoiled.

"Leave him alone!" Gabriel demanded. Alastair laughed and walked out of the bathroom. Dean lingered, staring at Castiel again. Castiel pretended not to notice. Dean finally left, shutting the light off. He kept the door open. Castiel would see Dean strip down to his underwear. He had a tan, toned body. And God, those abs... He quickly shook the thought from his head.

"I'm sorry, Cas," Gabriel said quietly.

"Gabe, this isn't your fault," Castiel said. It wasn't true. This _was_  Gabriel's fault. Castiel told him not to stop. He _told_  him but he did and now they were handcuffed to a fucking shower rod. Castiel didn't want him to feel guilty though. He probably felt bad enough.

"I should have listened to you," Gabriel said sadly. "I got us into this mess and I'm so sorry. We'll make it out of this, Cas. I promise."

"Gabriel-"

"Will you shut up?" Dean snapped. The light turned on. He was standing in the doorway, looking annoyed.

"Sorry," Gabriel said quickly. Castiel stared at Dean's near-naked body. God, he was so...

"Like what you see?" Dean said, snapping Castiel out of his daze. He felt his cheeks burn in embarrassment. He really needed to stop thinking like that. Sure, Dean was hot, like sculpted by the God's hot, but on the inside he was a cold, evil monster. If Castiel were to see Dean on the street, he'd never suspect anything was off with him. Bad people should have an eye patch or a scar or something to identify them.

"Hey, Dean!" Alastair called. Dean kept eye contact with Casitiel

"What?"

"Bring little Cas in here."

Castiel looked at Gabriel with a worried expression. Gabriel's face was hard. He grabbed Castiel's hand as Dean grabbed the key from the counter. Castiel wanted to fight but he was pretty sure Dean was serious about killing him. Once Castiel was free, Dean hooked the cuff to the shower rod and grabbed Castiel's arm, dragging him out to the bedroom. Castiel gave Gabriel a scared look. Gabriel fought against the cuff, cursing at Alastair. Dean snapped at him to shut up.

Alastair was sitting up in bed, grinning sleazily. Castiel tried to back away but Dean pushed him forward. Alastair stood and took Castiel from Dean. He grabbed Castiel by his hips, pulling him closer. Castiel had a pretty good idea where this was going.

"Please don't," Castiel whispered pathetically. Alastair back handed him so hard his head whipped to the side. He bent Castiel over the bed, face down.

"Shut up, bitch." Alastair said. He pulled down Castiel's jeans with ease. Castiel struggled to get free but Alastair just held him down by his neck.

"No! Please!" Castiel cried. His eyes burned with tears. This couldn't be happening. He prayed this was only a dream. A terrible, terrible dream. He wasn't about to be...

"I said shut up!" Alastair barked. "Dean, duct tape."

"Don't you touch my brother!" Gabriel called from the bathroom. He was ignored. A strip of tape was placed over Castiel's mouth and then his boxers were pulled down. Castiel was fighting even harder.

He didn't want his virginity to be taken away by this psycho. He wanted to lose it to someone he cared about and he who cared about him. But that was over now.

"I'm going out for a cigarette," Dean said casually. Dean's eyes locked with Castiel's for a brief moment. He wore a blank expression. Castiel squeezed his eyes shut. The door opened and closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Cas.


	3. Tracking TIme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: More non-con in this chapter.

When Castiel was young, he loved going on road trips. He would always watch cars pass, studying their passengers. He wondered what they were like. What were their names? Where were they going? It used to be fun for him, but now it brought him no joy.

Castiel stared out the window watching cars drive by. He wandered if they could somehow tell what happened. Would they try to help? Would they even care? 

He was in the backseat with Alastair. Castiel sat as far away from him as possible. Being so close to Alastair after what happened made him sick. After it was over, Castiel was handcuffed back with Gabriel who wouldn't even look at him. Neither said a word for a long time and then Gabriel lost it. He kept repeating how sorry he was. Castiel didn't respond. He was so sore and there was blood running down his legs. He wasn't allowed to shower. He felt so dirty.

It was noon and they'd been on the road for about an hour after leaving the motel. Castiel's arm and shoulder were aching from spending the night handcuffed in such an awkward position. He was exhausted, unable to get any sleep. He bet Alastair slept like a baby.

"I'm starving," Alastair said. "Let's stop and get something to eat."

Dean, who was driving, just grunted. They stopped at a fast food restaurant and Dean parked. Alastair got out and went inside. Castiel adjusted in his seat, causing a sharp pain through his backside. He winced. Gabriel turned to give him a sympathetic look. 

"Cas-" He stopped himself, eyes shooting to Dean. Dean said nothing. "Dean? Sir?" Gabriel said tentively. "Would it be okay if I-" Dean drummed on the steering wheel and let out a sigh. 

"Shut up."

Gabriel turned back around. Alastair returned a few minutes later. He passed Dean a burger and some fries. He got nothing for Castiel or Gabriel. Castiel's stomach growled loudly. He hasn't eaten in over twenty four hours. 

Alastair held a fry in front of Castiel's face. "Hungry, babe?" Castiel said nothing. "Aw, don't be like that." He waved the fry around, using his other hand to grab Castiel's thigh. Castiel stiffened up and turned his head away. Alastair laughed and left him alone. 

They drove for hours. Castiel had no idea where they were. Or where they were going. They stopped to get more gas and so Dean could buy cigarettes. Alastair was watching the pump outside. 

"Cas," Gabriel whispered. He was digging around the glove box and pulled out a bottle of pills. He poured a couple out and passed them to Castiel. "How are you doing?"

"Peachy." Castiel said sarcastically. He swallowed the pills dry. Gabriel quickly returned them to their hiding spot just as Alastair got in, in the driver's seat this time.

Dean walked out, smacking a pack of cigarettes on his palm. He climbed in next to Castiel. As soon as they were out of the parking lot, Dean lit up. He cracked the window this time. His arm slung over the seats, right behind Castiel's head. He tried not to cringe. Dean looked so casual. Like they were all friends going on a road trip together. 

Castiel almost wished they would have killed him already. It was better than this. He wanted to die. His thoughts drifted back to the night before. Alastair on top of him. Inside him. Holding his hips so hard that it had left bruises. The sound of their skin meeting as he thrusted in over and over. The pain.

Castiel felt a panic attack coming on and could do nothing to stop it. His breathing picked up along with his heart rate. His chest tightened, like someone was sitting on top of him. He was suffocating. The car felt like it was getting smaller and smaller. His breath was coming out in quick, shallow gasps. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" A hand landed on his shoulder, causing him to jump and release a startled yelp. Dean moved his hand, looking confused. "Hey, what's wrong with him?" Dean asked. 

"He's having a panic attack," Gabriel said. This happened regularly. Castiel had severe anxiety which he took medication for. He was diagnosed when he was only thirteen. 

"Well make it stop!" Dean snapped. Castiel was shaking uncontrollably now, squeezing his eyes shut. He pulled at his hair, trying to get rid of the images in his mind.

"Uh- ok. Cas. Castiel, look at me, ok? Look at me." Gabriel has had to talk Castiel down from his attacks quite a few times and he's gotten pretty good. Normally he asks Castiel about his day. He just kept Castiel talking to keep his mind of whatever was making him anxious. "Focus on your breathing, remember? Deep, slow breaths."

"For God sakes," Alastair said angrily. "Just shut the fuck up." 

"He has medication in his bag," Gabriel said. "Pull over and I can-"

"No," Dean said. "What bag?"

"Blue. Small pocket."

Dean turned around and pulled Castiel's bag out from the back, finding his pill bottle. 

"Xanax?" Dean hummed approvingly. "Nice." He poured out a couple and handed then to Castiel. Instead of putting them back, he stuffed them in his pocket. Castiel didn't try to stop him.

"Let me see those pills," Alastair said. 

"Fuck no. You're driving, dickhead." 

Castiel swallowed his meds with much difficulty due to his erratic breathing. After a couple minutes, his breathing returned to normal. He became drowsy, as he normally did after taking his pills. He was draining from this whole fucked up situation. Castiel slept for a few hours somehow. When he awoke, it was raining and Alastair and Dean were arguing. 

"Let's just go to a motel again," Alastair said. Castiel's stomach churned at the thought. 

"Why? That's just wasting money." Was Dean's reply.

"Well if we keep driving, we'll waste gas which costs money, dumb shit."

"Hey," Dean barked, leaning between the seats. "Watch your mouth, prick."

"Prick? Man, you're lucky I'm driving or else I'd beat your ass."

"Oh really?" Dean put his gun to Alastair's head. Castiel gasped quietly. Gabriel was watching with wide eyes. Dean wasn't about to kill him, was he? He was driving down the interstate at almost ninety miles per hour. If he dies, so do they. Castiel wasn't sure what to think about this. If they were turning against each other, what would happen to him and Gabriel? Would it better or worsen their chances of escaping?

"You wouldn't shoot me, Dean," Alastair said. Dean cocked the gun.

"Oh, I wouldn't?"

"Calm down. We won't go to a fucking motel but I'm stopping for food."

Dean lingered for a moment and then leaned back, disarming the fun and sliding it back in it's holster. When they got to the restaurant, Alastair told Castiel to get out. 

"W-Why?" Castiel asked, already knowing he wouldn't like the answer. 

"Because I said so," Alastair snapped. It was still raining pretty hard. Castiel was soaked by the time they got inside. Instead of going to the front to order, Alastair dragged Castiel into the bathroom. Castiel didn't have time to process what was going on until Alastiar had him in a stall. The bathroom was empty. It was absolutely disgusting and smelled like shit. There was piss all over the place and the floors were sticky. From what, Castiel didn't want to know. The sanitation of the room was the least of his worries. Alastair slid down his jeans and forced Castiel to his knees. 

"You bite and you're dead," He said. He wanted Castiel to... Castiel shook his head. Alastair punched him in the face. "Open up, slut." Castiel slowly opened his mouth and Alastair shoved in, causing Castiel to gag. He'd never done this before and Alastair wasn't taking it easy on him. Castiel felt sick. His eyes burned with tears and he prayed this would be over quickly. It wasn't. It seemed to go on for hours. 

Alastair came in Castiel's mouth without warning and Castiel almost threw up. He pulled away quickly, spitting onto the floor. Castiel felt absolutely disgusting. 

"Spitters are quitters, darling," Alastair said and unlocked the stall door. He pushed Castiel down on his ass on his way out. "Get up and clean yourself up." Castiel obeyed, slowly climbing to his feet. He washed his mouth out and splashed water on his face, trying to make the feeling of Alastair go away. 

Alastair took him back out to the front and ordered food like nothing happened. Castiel could have screamed for help but Gabriel was still in the car with Dean. If Dean saw cops coming, he's shoot Gabriel without a second thought. Castiel couldn't risk that. 

When they got back outside, Dean was in the driver's seat and Gabriel was in the back, leaving Castiel to sit up front. Alastair gave Dean his food and asked, "Why is he back here?"

"Because he asked to be." Dean unwrapped his burger and took a huge bite. 

"And you listened?"

"Yep," Dean said with a mouthful. This was the longest Castiel's ever gone without eating. He couldn't have eaten anything anyway. He felt sick with himself. He just gave head in a nasty public bathroom to a psycho. His throat hurt now. He could still taste Alastair. It was bitter and made Castiel gag again. 

Castiel brought his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them. He was glad he didn't have to sit back there with Alastair. He was worried about Gabriel though. Alastair was a predator. Castiel could handle him hurting Gabriel. He'd rather be raped everyday than to have Alastair touch Gabriel. But Alastair left Gabriel alone. He only seemed to have eyes for Castiel. 

Out of no where, a hand touched his shoulder. Castiel jumped. Alastair started laughing. He was sitting directly behind Castiel. Dean glanced his way and shook his head, sighing. 

"I just wanted to see if you wanted some fries," Alastair said innocently. "You must be hungry." Castiel didn't offer a response. Just leaned forwards in his seat, out of Alastair's reach. His stomach growled like a cornered dog. Castiel ignored it and closed his eyes.


	4. Far From Home

It's been days since Castiel and Gabriel had been abducted. Alastair has attacked Castiel any chance he got. Castiel's arms were covered in bruises from where Alastiar pinned him down and a black eye from when Castiel tried to fight back. He wasn't going to do that again. They were in a motel, handcuffed to the shower again. They were somewhere in Kansas now. Castiel wasn't sure how much more he could take. Him and Gabriel hadn't eaten or had a drink since they were captured and Castiel was definitely feeling the affects. His mouth was dry and sticky. He was dizzy and couldn't even see straight at this point. His stomach was cramping up and his head was aching. Gabriel wasn't doing much better. His skin was pale and clammy and he was complaining of stomachaches too. 

"Cas, are you alright? Gabriel asked. 

"M'fine," Castiel lied. He wasn't. Not at all. He was having trouble forming coherent thoughts. 

"Seriously, Castiel, are you okay?"

"Can't... feel my legs." As soon as the words left his mouth, his legs gave out. If he wasn't attached to Gabriel, he would have fallen. 

"Shit! Cas! Uh- help! Please! Help!"

The light turned on and Alastair stormed in, holding his gun. 

"Shut the fuck up, bitch," He growled. 

"Something's wrong with Castiel." Gabriel said worriedly. Dean walked in, yawned loudly. 

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." Alastair said at the same time Gabriel said, "Castiel's sick!" 

A hand, presumably Dean's grabbed his face. Castiel could barely make out Dean's form studying him. "He's only dehydrated," Dean concluded, releasing Castiel. 

"Only?" Gabriel exclaimed. 

"Shut up. Alastair, get him a cup of water."

Castiel was uncuffed and instantly lost his balance as he no longer had support. He would have fallen but Dean caught him. 

"Jesus Christ," Dean muttered. He sounded annoyed. Alastair came back with a Styrofoam cup and filled it with water. "Drink slowly." Dean demanded, giving the cup to Castiel. Castiel lifted it to his mouth with a shakey hand. Dean was still holding onto him as he filled another cup and handed it to Gabriel. "Don't drink it all. That has to last you through the night. And you," He held Castiel at arms length, frowning. "You look like shit." Castiel was too wiped out to spit out a witty rebuttal. 

"He can sleep in my bed," Alastair said. 

"Uncuffed? Where he can just walk out."

"Look at him. He can't even stand. He ain't going anywhere." He lowered his voice. "It'll make things easier."

Castiel was taken to the bedroom and laid on the bed. Castiel didn't have the energy to fight. Alastair plopped down beside him. Castiel tried to roll to his side but he head started pounding. Dean set Castiel's water down on the bedside table. 

"Keep drinking." He ordered. "You're going to be sick for a few days." He turned off the lamp and Castiel shut his eyes. The bed squeaked as Alastair scooted closer to Castiel. Castiel tensed up as Alastair rubbed the front of his jeans. A low whimper left Castiel's mouth.

"Dude," Dean said. "Really? You fucked him earlier."

"So?" 

"Whatever. If he throws up, that's on you." Alastair groaned and removed his hand. Castiel released a breath of relief. Right then he was mentally thanking Dean. Out of the two of them, he hated Dean less. They were both psycho bastards but Alastair was definitely worse. Dean had a short temper and snapped a lot but Alastair was a complete asshole. Castiel hated him. If given the chance, he'd kill Dean but not Alastair. He wanted Alastair to be tortured like he's been torturing Castiel the past few days. Castiel wanted Alastair to pay for all he's done. To suffer. To hurt. To be in so much pain that death would be a sweet relief.

When Castiel woke up the next morning, Alastair was gone. Dean was standing over his bed, digging through his bag. He was wearing jeans but nothing else. Castiel sat up slowly. It took a moment for his vision to clear. Dean turned at the sound of the bed squeaking. 

"Get up. We're leaving as soon as Alastair gets back." Castiel was able to take two steps before collapsing to his knees. He felt horrible. Dean watched him struggle but didn't offer any help. Not that Castiel expected him to. After many failed attempts of standing, he managed to push himself up. Dean put on a shirt and walked into the bathroom, returning with Gabriel trailing behind him. 

Gabriel rushed to Castiel's side. "Are you alright?" He asked softly. Castiel nodded. 

The door opened and Alastair walked in with a grocery bag. It was filled with water bottles. "Here," He tossed two at Castiel and Gabriel. Gabriel caught his. Castiel didn't. Gabriel grabbed it for him. 

"Let's go." Dean said, grabbing his bag. "We're a few hours away from Lawrence." 

Alastair went to check out while Dean led Castiel and Gabriel to the car. Gabriel got up front and Dean got in the back with Castiel. Castiel took a big gulp of his water.

"Small sips," Dean said. "If you throw up in here, I swear to God..." He trailed off. Alastair returned and soon they were back on the road. Gabriel was out within minutes. Dean started smoking. Alastair munched on a bag of chips. Castiel just fiddled with his fingers. 

Dean said something about Lawrence. Is that where they were taking them? What would happen once they got there? Would someone find them before they arrive? Castiel could only hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and fairly uneventful but it's going to pick up in the next chapter.


	5. Alone Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: A bit of non-con in this chapter.

"Sir, I have to use the bathroom," Gabriel said. They've been driving for hours now. It was almost noon. They were in the middle of no where. It was a two lane back road, surrounded by dirt and a whole lot of nothing.

"Too bad," Alastair muttered.

"Just pull over," Dean said. "I need to get out of this car anyways."

Alastair pulled off to the side of the road. Gabriel went behind a bush to do his business. Dean lit up a cigarette, walking around. Castiel was still a little dizzy so he didn't stray too far from the car. Alastair stood beside him.

"So," Alastair began, with a stupid smirk on his stupid face. "While we're pulled over, wanna have some fun?" He pinned Castiel to the car with his body, caressing Castiel's face.

"Please no," Castiel said weakly. Alastair grabbed his hand and forced it to his crotch. Castiel, without thinking, yanked his hand away. Alastair's fist connected with his face. Castiel gasped in pain as Alastair threw him to the ground.

"You little bitch," Alastair growled, kicking Castiel in the side. It hurt so bad. Castiel coughed, curled into a ball. "You're an ungrateful little loud-mouthed bitch. I'm sick of your back talk." He kicked Castiel again.

"Stop! I'm sorry! Please!" Castiel cried.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Dean asked. He was standing a few feet away. Gabriel was over in an instant, having hearing Castiel's screams. Alastair ignored them both and kicked Castiel again and again. Castiel was crying.

"Leave him alone!" Gabriel yelled. He tried to come forward but Dean grabbed him, shoving him backwards.

"Shut up!" Your little brother needs to be taught a lesson." Alastair grabbed Castiel by his hair and forced him on his knees.

"Not now, Alastair," Dean said. "We're half an hour away-"

"I don't give a shit!" Alastair slapped Castiel across the face.

"No!" Gabriel exclaimed.

"Dean, shut him up!

Dean grabbed Gabriel and forced him into the car at gun point. Castiel watched Alastair unzip his pants and then he forced himself in Castiel's mouth. Castiel was far to weak to fight it. Dean stood idly by, just watching. His face was blank as he continued smoking. Castiel was in so much pain.

He decided to do something drastic. He bit down as hard as he could. Alastair screamed and backed away. Castiel scrambled to his feet but Alastair grabbed him before he could even think to run. He pressed his gun to Castiel's head.

"I hope you've made peace with your God, Castiel," Alastair said. Castiel was shaking. If Alastair killed him, he'd probably kill Gabriel too.

"No! Please don't kill me. I'll do anything!" Castiel pleaded. "Please!"

"Shut up! You're fucking dead."

"No! Please, i'm sorry!"

"Too late for that." He cocked the gun and Castiel squeezed his eyes shut. There was a loud bang and Castiel waited for the pain. It never came. How was he still alive? He slowly opened his eyes to see Alastair on the ground. His face was gone. All that was left was a bloody mess of flesh. Castiel was stained red with blood. Alastair's blood. Alastair was dead.

Castiel was lifted off the ground and pulled away from the body. It was Dean. He leaned Castiel on the car and walked over to Alastair. Gabriel was out of the car and ran over to embrace Castiel.

"Oh my God, Cas," He breathed out. "Are you ok?"

"He's.... he's dead," Castiel deadpanned. He must have been in shock or something. Dean was leaning over Alastair, hands on his hips.

"Change your clothes," Dean said, back still turned. "Now."

Castiel couldn't move. Gabriel ended up getting clothes and helping him change. His torso was badly bruised. Everything movement caused a sharp pain to shock his body.

Dean picked up Alastair's gun from the ground. "Get in the car. Both of you." Dean ordered.

"You shot him," Castiel said. Dean glanced over his shoulder.

"Yeah," He said simply.

"Come on, Cas." Gabriel pulled on Castiel's arm. They got in the back, Gabriel holding Castiel tightly. Castiel stared out the window and saw Dean digging through Alastair's pockets. He pulled out his wallet and a knife. When Dean finished, he dragged Alastair's body behind a bush and returned to the car. He opened the back door and made them get out.

"Alright. You, Gabriel. Listen carefully. I'm going to let you go. There's a town a few miles down the road-"

"Wait, you're letting us go?" Gabriel questioned.

"No. I'm letting _you_  go." Castiel's heart sunk. Gabriel shook his head.

"No, I'm not leaving without my brother." Dean pulled his gun on Gabriel.

"You don't really have a choice. If I let you both go, what's going to stop you from going to the cops?"

"Take me instead," Dean didn't even humor the thought.

"Now when you get to the town, look for the Roadhouse. Your car will be waiting for you there. But if you call the cops and they come for me, Castiel's dead. Got it?" Gabriel nodded wordlessly. Castiel hoped Gabriel was smart enough not to listen to Dean's threat. "Good. I'll leave you some water for when you wake up."

"When I wake-" Dean hit Gabriel over the head, knocking him out. Castiel screamed and tried to get to Gabriel but Dean stopped him.

"In the car. Now. He'll be fine."

"But-"

"Go!" Dean opened the passenger door and shoved Castiel inside. Dean sat a fresh bottle of water next to Gabriel's unconscious body and got behind the wheel. Castiel stared out the window at his brother until he disappeared. He took a deep breath. It hurt. Every time he moved, he winced at the pain. Dean looked like he was going to say something but never did.

The half hour passed in silence. Dean was chain smoking the entire time and Castiel was thinking about Gabriel. Had he woken up yet? Would he get to town? Was he ok? Castiel worried about him. He was glad Dean chose to take him instead but he wondered why. Why him? And why did he kill Alastair? Castiel wanted to ask but now didn't seem like the right time. Dean didn't seem to be in the best mood. Not that he ever was.

When Dean pulled into a neighborhood, Castiel sat up. He didn't question it though. He didn't want to get hit again. It was a nice neighborhood, very suburban. Dean parked in the driveway of a pretty blue house. Dean turned off the car but didn't make a move to leave. He just sighed, resting his head on the steering wheel.

"Dean? I mean sir?" Castiel said.

"What?"

"Are we..."

"Yes." Dean got out and walked around to Castiel's side, opening the door. Castiel still hadn't recovered from the dehydration and stumbled a bit. His side was hurting now and Castiel gritted his teeth. Dean didn't offer to help. He waited at the front door rather impatiently, arms crossed over his chest.

Inside the house was... plain. White walls, bare of any photos or paintings. There was a small hallway leading to the living room. A small leather couch sat against the wall with an old TV across from it. Everything was spotless. Castiel didn't have a lot of time to study it before Dean was dragging him through the house. Castiel was taken to a bedroom. Dean forced him on the bed and handcuffed him to the headboard. A piece of duct tape was placed over his mouth. Castiel was afraid Dean was going to hurt him but then he stood up straight.

"I have to go drop your brother's car off," Dean said, pulling out his phone. "Keep quiet." He put the phone to his ear. "Hey, Sammy. I need a favor. I need you to meet me at the Roudhouse so I can drop a buddy's car off."

Dean walked out of the room, shutting the door. Castiel waited until he was sure Dean was gone and then started trying to free himself. He pulled on the cuffs uselessly. There was no point but he kept trying. He squirmed and yanked until his wrists were raw. He cursed into the tape and gave up. He was tired and sore and hopeless. He wasn't going to get out of here.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, Dean was back. He ripped the tape off of Castiel's mouth and uncuffed him. "Get up," He said. Castiel was taken down the hall. Dean opened a door to reveal a staircase. A basement? Dean forced him down. It was like something out of a movie. Cement walls, probably sound proof. There was a mattress and a bucket and that was it. Castiel gulped as Dean pushed him forward. "Home sweet home, Cas."

Castiel had his arms wrapped around himself. He looked up at Dean to find he was staring. He seemed to do that a lot. "You know, Alastair may have been an asshole, but he was right about one thing," Dean said, slowly approaching Castiel. Castiel backed away. Panic struck when his back hit the wall. "You are absolutely beautiful."

Dean struck fast, kissing Castiel without warning. Castiel was a little taken aback. Alastair never actually kissed Castiel. This was weird. Dean's lips were surprisingly soft and he tasted like mint gum and cigarettes. Castiel tried to push him away, turning his head to the side.

"Get off of me, psycho!" As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew they were a mistake. Dean's eyes hardened and Castiel knew he was in trouble. Dean grabbed Castiel by his throat, pinning him to the wall.

"Don't call me that!" He growled viciously. Castiel tried to apologize but the only noise that came out was a choked gasp. He couldn't breathe. Dean was crushing his windpipe. "I fucking saved your life, you know that, right? I killed my friend. What makes you think I'd have any problem killing you? You're stuck here until I decide to let you go, Castiel. You're _mine_  now. If you want to live, I'd suggest you play nice. And if you can't learn, I'll just let you starve down here."

Dean released Castiel. He fell to the floor, gasping for air. Dean stood over him and Castiel braced himself. But Dean didn't hurt him. Instead, he spoke. "I don't want to have to kill you, Cas. But if you keep misbehaving, I'll have no choice."

He held out a hand and Castiel flinched, fearing a slap. Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed Castiel's arm, hoisting him up with no trouble. Then he reached for Castiel's shirt, lifting it up. "You got off lucky with Alastair," He said and Castiel would have scoffed if he wasn't in so much pain. "The last person who pissed him off got broken ribs and a fractured skull." Dean placed a gentle kiss on Castiel's forehead. "It's late. you should get some sleep."

Castiel blinked in confusion. This guy was unpredicable. He goes from trying to choke him out to kissing him. Castiel couldn't figure this guy out. Alastair, Castiel knew, was completely evil, but with Dean, Castiel could see just a tiny bit of good and that scared Castiel even more. Dean was right. He did save his life. Alastair was going to kill him but Dean stopped him. The only question was why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and kudos. Hope y'all are enjoying it so far.


	6. Cellar Door

It felt like Castiel had been trapped in Dean's basement for months. Dean told him it had barely been two weeks. Castiel thought for sure would keep him locked away and let him starve to death. But Dean came down everytime to bring Castiel food. He didn't say much. Just gave him the sandwich and left.

But after two weeks, Dean surprised him by sitting down with him. Castiel didn't know what to think. It was silent for a while. Castiel nibbled on his sandwich, stealing glances at Dean when he wasn't looking. Castiel didn't know why Dean was down here. He wasn't sure whether or not he should be worried. Dean eventually broke the silence.

"How's your sandwich?"

"It's good," Castiel said quietly, in fear of pissing Dean off. Dean nodded.

"Sorry all I have it ham and cheese. I can get you something else if you want."

"No, this is fine."

Castiel was hopelessly confused by Dean's behavior. It was almost like Dean was somewhat human. He wasn't yelling or hurting Castiel. He's been here for weeks and Dean hasn't laid a hand on him. He actually brought books for Castiel to read to pass the time. It was strange.

"Have you ever seen Dr. Sexy?" Dean asked randomly.

"No."

"It's really good. There was a marathon on today. It's a guilty pleasure. My brother makes fun of me all the time but that shit's addicting."

"You have a brother?" Castiel asked, testing his boundaries. Dean nodded.

"Sam. He's going to Stanford in the Fall. Kid's smart as hell. I barely got my GED. I had to work two jobs to help him afford it." Castiel had so many questions. Starting with, what the hell was going on? Why was he talking to Castiel? What was he going to do with him? Why was he acting like they were actually friends? But Dean spoke before Castiel opened his mouth. "Your brother, how old is he?"

"Twenty five."

"What about you?"

"Twenty one."

"Got any other siblings?"

"I have another older brother named Michael."

Why was Castiel talking to Dean? The guy who kept him locked in a basement. At least this was better than the alternative of Dean leaving him alone in here to die.

They talked for a while. Dean asked him a lot of questions about his life, but didn't say much about his. All he talked about was Sam. Castiel noted the gleam in his eyes when he talked about his brother.

If Castiel didn't know any better, he'd say Dean was an alright guy. Castiel might even dare to say Dean was a bit charming. He would crack jokes and Castiel couldn't help but laugh. It felt wrong. He was abducted and was now trapped in a basement. He should be freaked out. But Dean was acting so... normal.

But then Dean flipped on him. One day he stormed down the stairs and yanked the book from Castiel's hands, throwing it across the room. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Castiel looked up at him in fear. Dean's eyes were dark and full of anger. This was a complete opposite of the Dean who had brought him food just hours earlier.

Dean fisted Castiel's hair and forced him to his feet. Castiel felt the hair being ripped from his scalp. "You fucking piece of shit. You're fucking pathetic!" He back handed Castiel so hard that he tasted blood.

"I'm sorry!" He had no idea what he did but he knew it was best to just apologize. He had no idea what had caused Dean's mood to shift so drastically. He was pissed off for some reason and he was going to take it out on Castiel.

Dean had Castiel by the collar of his shirt, slamming him into the wall. "You're just a stupid fucking bitch! That's all you are!"

Dean hit Castiel in the stomach. Castiel hunched over in pain. Dean kneed him in the face and threw him to the ground. He left, leaving Castiel writhing in pain on the floor. He touched his nose and found it was bleeding. Castiel, in a way, felt betrayed. Dean was so nice to him before. Why would he do this to him? Castiel had been good. Dean said if he behaved he'd be okay. But he hurt Castiel. And Castiel had no idea why.

A couple days passed and Dean left him alone. He didn't eat and was in too much pain to sleep. He just laid on the mattress and prayed for death. A few days after the beating, Dean returned. Castiel heard the door being unlocked. He squeezed his eyes shut and hoped if Dean thought he was asleep, he'd leave him alone. He heard Dean's heavy footsteps coming down the stairs, coming closer and closer.

"Cas?" Castiel was surprised at how soft his voice was. Dean gently grabbed his shoulder and Castiel jumped, opening his eyes. "It's okay, Cas," Dean crouched down next to him, smiling a bit. "I brought you a sandwich. I figured you'd be hungry." He handed Castiel a plate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He even cut the crusts off. "Thought you might be sick of ham and cheese."

"T-Thank you, sir." Castiel sat up and winced. He was still sore. Dean's eyes shot to the blood on his shirt.

"Your nose is bruised. Are you alright?"

"Yes," Castiel lied. Dean sat down beside him without a word. Castiel took a tentative bite of his sandwich, afraid Dean would snap again. But he didn't. He just sat back casually, watching Castiel eat. Castiel was starving after days of no food. He devoured the sandwich quickly.

"I should have made you two," Dean said with a small chuckle. "Do you want another?"

 _Yes._ "No thanks."

"You sure?" Castiel nodded.

He couldn't figure out Dean to save his life. Just a few days ago, Dean beat the shit out of him and now he was acting  _normal_

"Well how about a shower?"

A shower sounded great right then. He can't remember the last time he washed. Dan didn't wait for an answer. He stood, pulling Castiel up with him. Dean waited in the bathroom with him and Castiel felt a little awkward. He scrubbed his body with the wash cloth Dean had gotten for him. The shower made him feel a little bit better honestly. He didn't feel as dirty. Castiel wanted to stay in there forever. He cut the shower off after a few minutes though. He didn't want to upset Dean.

Castiel slid back the curtain, covering himself. Dean stared at him for a moment and Castiel was afraid Dean was going to try something but then Dean handed him a towel. "I'll wash your clothes. They're dirty. You can borrow some of mine."

Dean picked out a plain black shirt and blue jeans. Castiel made sure the towel was secure before slipped the shirt on. It was a little big on him. It smelled like Dean, cologne and cigarettes. Castiel finished getting dressed and Dean took him back to the basement after stopping in the kitchen to grab some beer and a bag of chips.

They sat around for a while, just talking. Like always, Dean never mentioned anything about his life other than Sam. Over the course of those few hours, Castiel allowed himself to relax. Dean was in a good mood. It was like nothing ever happened. He should have known it was a mistake but Dean was so charming. He had such an innocent face. It was hard to believe this was the same man who beat him just days before. Now he was acting like they were best friends.

But the next day, Dean was back in his bad mood. He beat Castiel so bad he blacked out. And then a couple days later, Dean was bringing him food and letting him shower. Even as they were talking, and Dean was acting all sweet and nice, Castiel would not allow himself to put his guard down this time.

He finally learned what to expect from Dean. The unexpected. He had to walk on egg shells around Dean. It didn't matter what Castiel did, Dean was going to go Jekyll and Hyde on him. Castiel spent hours trying to figure him out from a psychological standpoint. Bipolar? It would explain the mood swings. But he ruled that out. He switched too fast and he wasn't exactly manic. Maybe multiple personality disorder. He was like two different people. But that didn't exactly make sense either. They weren't distinct people. He was still Dean. Schizophrenia? Castiel didn't know a lot about that disorder but he couldn't rule it out. He wanted to know but he was sure if he asked Dean, he'd flip out. He couldn't risk that. He just had to deal with it. Whatever it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have everything pretty much written out so I'm going to try to start posting weekly. Maybe twice a week, depending on feedback. Thank you again for all the love. I appreciate it.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean came down to give Castiel food like he normally did. He sat down to talk with him as he'd been doing a lot lately. Castiel and Dean were talking about music when Dean suddenly stood up. He just up and left mid-sentence. Castiel was confused but didn't dare question him. Dean didn't return for another couple hours. He was drunk.

Castiel was half-sleep when Dean came stumbling down the stairs. Castiel could smell the alcohol on him from across the room.

"You! Castiel! Get up!" Dean slurred, pointing a lazy finger at him. Castiel obeyed. Dean was using the wall to support himself as he walked over. "I was thinking earlier," Dean said. "About if I made the right choice. Killing Alastair to save you. I didn't want you to die. You're too special."

Special? Did Dean really just say that? What did that even mean? How much had he had to drink?

"Alastair... he was an asshole, but he was my friend. We met when I was ten. He was seventeen. Guess where?" Dean tripped over his own feet. Castiel caught him, almost falling himself. Castiel was not strong enough to hold Dean's entire weight.

"Dean, why don't we sit down?" Castiel lowered them both to the mattress clumsily.

"We met," Dean continued, "In an adolescent psych ward." Somehow, that didn't surprise Castiel. He had no idea why Dean was telling him this but he made sure to listen. This was the most he'd heard from Dean about his past. "He was in there because his mom was worried about him after she found out he'd been killing animals. They said he had conduct disorder. In other words, he was a psychopath. He was just too young to be diagnosed."

His words were running together and Castiel had to listen hard to understand him.

"He didn't like me at first, but we connected on this level, you know?"

"Uh- sure." Castiel said, although he really didn't.

"He sorta took me under his wing. He told me..." Dean burped loudly. "He told me he raped this little boy. Dumped his body in the river." Dean laughed like it was a joke. Castiel was mortified. "Can you believe that? He never got caught either."

Dean rubbed his eyes tiredly. He laid down, connecting his hands behind his head to use as a makeshift pillow. "Believe it or not, you were really lucky with Alastair. I've seen him do much worse things to other people. Torture them."

"He raped me," Castiel spat. "That's not torture?"

"At least it was with his dick and not a knife," Dean said and a chill shocked Castiel's body. His stomach churned at the thought. "Alastair, he prided in the fact he was a psychopath. He never denied it. He wanted the world to know." Dean was grinning to himself, shaking his head. "When we were released from the ward, we were put in the same foster home, funny enough. He threatened to slit our foster mom's throat if she didn't let him watch TV."

"Why were you guys put in foster care?"

"Alastair's mom was arrested on drug charges or something. His dad was never around."

"What about you?" Castiel asked, and wasn't sure if he should have.

"None of your fucking business," Dean snapped. Castiel didn't ask anymore questions. Apparently Dean hadn't drank enough to spill his entire life story. Castiel was more curious now than ever. Where did Dean come from? Why was he like this?

"I didn't have parents," Dean suddenly said. "Do you?"

"No," Castiel said. "Not really."

"What does that mean?"

"My mom died when I was young. My dad wasn't around much. My brothers raised me mostly." Dean hummed, shutting his eyes. Castiel stared at him. He looked so normal at that moment, like a regular guy. Like someone Castiel could be friends with. Castiel didn't allow himself to be fooled by the illusion. Dean wasn't normal. He wasn't a regular guy, and he certainly wasn't Castiel's friend. He was evil. Cold-hearted.

"I don't feel bad for killing Alastair,' Dean opened his eyes. They were empty, voice of any emotion.

"Do you ever feel bad?" Castiel asked. "About anything?"

"No."

"You don't have a conscious?"

"No."

"So you're a psychopath too."

"No," He said angrily, sitting up. "I'm a sociopath."

"What's the difference?"

Dean didn't answer. He just stood and left the room, locking the door behind him. Castiel watched him go and then laid down, falling asleep shortly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is so short, I decided I'm going to update again tomorrow. I hope most of your questions will be answered within the next few chapters.


	8. You and I Were Fireworks

When Castiel heard the door being unlocked, he held his breath. He didn't know which side of Dean would be coming down the stairs. He spent a lot of his time thinking about what Dean told him. Alastair was a psychopath which explained a lot. He had a junkie mom and killed animals in his spare time. But Dean was a sociopath. Castiel didn't even know what the difference was. He thought they were the same thing.

Dean said he didn't have parents. Did they die? Give him up? Just abandon him? What about his brother? Castiel <<<<needed>>>> to know more about Dean's past. He needed to know why Dean was so fucked up.

Dean appeared at the bottom of the stairs. He didn't look angry but that didn't mean much. "What did I tell you the other night?" He asked.

"You told me that Alastair was a psychopath..." Castiel trailed off. He wasn't sure where this was going.

"And?"

"And he raped and killed a little boy."

"And?"

"And that you met in a psych ward and were put in the same foster home."

"And?"

"And..." Castiel swallowed. "And you were a uh- sociopath."

"And?"

"That's it."

Dean took a few steps forward, staring directly into Castiel's eyes. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not," Castiel said. Dean gave him a skeptical look, approaching him.

"You're lying."

Dean grabbed Castiel by his hair and pulled him up. "No, sir! I swear!" Castiel exclaimed. Dean studied him for a moment, as if searching for any hint of a lie. Castiel tried not to look away. Dean's gaze was hard and piercing and made Castiel want to crawl up into a ball. "I swear!" He said again. He managed to keep his voice steady and a hell of a lot more confident than he felt.

Dean didn't speak for a while but eventually nodded. "Ok." He released Castiel and just like that he was smiling. "Sometimes I get drunk and say things I shouldn't."

"Can I ask you a question?" Castiel asked, taking a chance. "What's the difference between a psychopath and..."

"And a sociopath?" Dean guessed. "It's real simple. Psychopaths are crazy. Sociopaths are not. Alastair was crazy. I'm not."

"But you-" Castiel stopped himself.

"What?" Dean pressed.

"Never mind."

"What?" Dean repeated sternly.

"I was just going to say you said you didn't have a conscious." Dean waited, as if expecting Castiel to add to that.

"So? I don't need one. Life's better without it." Dean shrugged indifferently. Castiel wanted to know more but then Dean spoke. "Do you like fireworks?"

"Huh?"

"Fireworks. Do you like them? I do."

Castiel was totally lost but went along with it so he wouldn't upset Dean. "Yeah, I like them."

"They're setting them off right now. For the fourth." The fourth? Castiel had been here that long? "Wanna go watch them?"

Castiel didn't know what to say. Was Dean serious? Was this a trick? He was inviting Castiel to watch fireworks with him? "Uh- sure."

Dean grinned, pulling Castiel up the stairs. He unlocked the door and dragged Castiel to the kitchen. Castiel saw on the wall clock that it was eight. Some people were setting off fireworks, lighting up the darkening sky.

"Are you hungry? I'm in the mood for pizza." Dean grabbed his phone off the counter and dialed a number. "You like pizza?"

"Yeah." Castiel loved pizza. The only thing Dean fed him was sandwiches. The thought of food made Castiel's stomach growl. The pizza arrived half an hour later and as soon as Castiel smelled it, he literally drooled. Dean had ordered just a plain pepperoni. When Castiel took his first bight, he nearly moaned. He ate the entire piece in three bites. Dean chuckled and got a few beers out of the fridge, holding one out to Castiel.

Castiel smiled a little. He still didn't know how to act around Dean. He was so cautious of everything he said or did. When Dean was angry, it was easy. Just keep apologizing and do everything Dean tells him without a fight. But when Dean was acting like this, Castiel was clueless. He had to be careful though. He had no idea what will set Dean off but he does know it doesn't take much. He played it safe and respected Dean, speaking only when spoken to. It's worked pretty well so far but that could easily change.

Dean didn't allow Castiel outside but they sat in the living room near the window with a clear view of the sky. There was some talking, mostly on Dean's part. Castiel would only speak when necessary; when Dean asked a question or sought some kind of response. It was kind of nice. Being out of the basement was refreshing. Watching the fireworks made him think of Gabriel though. They've spent every fourth together. When they were kids, they made their own bombs to set off, getting them in trouble. What was Gabriel doing? Was he ok? Had he made it back home? He missed Gabriel. He missed his old life.

After most of the fireworks had died down, Castiel was sent back to the basement. He fell asleep, praying to wake up from this nightmare.

 

* * *

 

 

"Castiel? Castiel, wake up!" Castiel's eyes shot open. Dean was standing over him smiling. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Huh?" Castiel asked sleepily. Did he hear that right?

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Dean repeated. "With me."

"Yeah, sure." Castiel stood and pulled on his, or rather Dean's, shirt.

"You could use a shower too. You stink."

"Thanks."

Dean laughed and took Castiel's hand. Dean let Castiel shower and gave him a a change of clothes. It was almost humorous the way Dean's clothes hung loosely on him. He looked like a child.

"What kind of movies do you like?" Dean asked, searching through a drawer of DVDs. They were neatly organized alphabetically. That was something Castiel noticed about Dean. He was very neat and organized. There was never anything out of place. He even had labels on things.

"I like pretty much anything," Castiel said.

"All I got is horror." For _some reason_ that didn't surprise Castiel. Dean picked a random slasher film and sat down on the couch, patting the seat beside him. Castiel sat, keeping a distance between them. He wished he could tell what Dean was thinking. Why did he want Castiel to watch a movie with him? Do normal psychos do this with their victims?

The movie started and Dean casually slung his arm over Castiel's shoulder. Castiel tried not to flinch. Dean was completely engrossed in the film while Castiel was trying not to look. He did not do well with horror movies. He hated blood and guts, even fake Hollywood kind. It made him sick. Castiel jumped every time the killer appeared, causing Dean to laugh. But when the killer pulled out his victim's heart, Castiel lost it. He hid his face in Dean's shirt without giving it much thought. Dean stiffened and Castiel quickly moved, face turning red.

"Sorry," He mumbled.

"Are you really scared of this?"

"Yes. I hate blood."

"Why? Your body its made up of it."

"Yeah and I prefer it _inside_." Dean just shrugged, tightening his grip on Castiel. Castiel spent the rest of the movie with his eyes glued to his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's another chapter. I have to work pretty much everyday next week so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update. I'm going to shoot for Tuesday and Friday.


	9. Chapter 9

Over the course of the next few days, Dean allowed Castiel to come upstairs during the evening, under supervision of course. Sometimes' they'd watch movies, and sometimes they just sat around. Castiel learned Dean worked as a mechanic at his friend's garage. He worked during the day and when he came home, they'd have dinner and make small talk.

Castiel was starting to get used to life with Dean. Somehow, he began to think of them as almost friends. It scared him. He shouldn't feel this way.

But he told Dean about his mother, how she died of breast cancer when he was seven, and how his dad was an alcoholic, absent most of the time. How he used to work in an animal shelter but quit to focus on school. Dean had yet to reveal anything about himself and Castiel was afraid to ask. Dean did sometimes mention Alastair and stories about their days in foster care. He talked about Alastair's Psychopathy, but not his Sociopathy. He never said how he ended up in a psych ward or what happened to his parents. Castiel was dying to know more about Dean but he was too afraid to ask and risk sending Dean into one of his bad moods.

Castiel was realizing that Dean wasn't actually that horrible. Except for his mood swings, which he hadn't had in a while, and that fact he was holding Castiel here against his will, he was relatively normal. He worked a normal job, ate normal food, had normal conversations. He just happened to be a sociopath. Castiel wouldn't say he liked Dean, but he certainly hated him less. He kept Castiel clothed and fed. He could have let him starve to death in the basement alone.

Sometimes when they were together, Castiel almost forgot he was abducted. It felt like they were just two guys snacking on junk food and watching TV. It was an alright set up, all things considered. It definitely could be worse. He could have ended up with Alastair. Dean didn't treat Castiel like he was just a piece of trash. He treated Castiel like he was an actual human being. Castiel knew it wouldn't last though. Dean was bound to snap soon. It's been over two weeks since Dean's last mood swing and it was only a matter of time. He'd beat Castiel and leave him in the basement for days without food or water.

Even if Castiel had fun with Dean, he always kept his guard up. It didn't matter how nice Dean was being. Castiel knew his dark side. He was evil. Plain and simple. He was just really good at pretending.

~~~

Dean was standing in front of Castiel with that same blank expression he always had. He only wore a black t-shirt, showing off his muscles, and tight jeans that didn't leave much to the imagination. His hair was messy, like he'd spent hours running his fingers through it.

"Castiel," His voice was low and gruff. It sent shivers down Castiel's spine.

"D-Dean."

It was dark, with just the light from the flickering lamp illuminating the room. Dean was staring at Castiel with his cold green eyes. For the first time, they weren't dull and empty. They were bright and full of life. Castiel thought he was gorgeous. He towered over Castiel by a few inches and Castiel had to strain his neck to look him in the eyes.

Dean touched Castiel's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Normal Castiel would have flinched, recoiled at the tough. Not this time. He welcomed it. Dean lowered his head so now they were face to face. Castiel gulped but made no move to pull away. Dean moved closer. Now Castiel could feel Dean's warm breath on his face. He could smell cigarettes and mint gum. Their lips were just a few mere centimeters apart. Just the tiny tilt of the head would bring them together. But Dean didn't move, so Castiel did. He connected their lips in a softly, tender kiss. A electric shock shot through Castiel, from his head to his toes. For a split second, he could feel every molecule in his body racing around. His eyes fluttered shut as he wrapped his arms around Dean's neck.

This was so different from the other time they kissed. It was sweet, gentle and _consensual_ and Castiel forgot about all Dean had done. This was all that mattered. Dean's lips were so soft and sweet. Castiel could kiss him all day.

But then suddenly Dean's lips disappeared and when Castiel opened his eyes, he was no longer in the dark room. He was on Dean's couch, head resting on Dean's shoulder. Dean was on his lap top. The TV was on, playing the credits for a movie he remembered watching earlier. He must have fallen asleep. Which meant it was just a dream. A weird, disturbing dream. He would never kiss Dean freely. He didn't even like Dean. He couldn't.

Castiel sat up quickly so they were no longer touching. Dean glanced at him and then continued typing. "You make weird noises in your sleep." He licked his lips, drawing Castiel's attention to them. He thought back to the dream. He felt the urge to kiss Dean but thankfully it quickly passed.

"Oh," Castiel said. Dean was chewing gum, mint no doubt. He looked emotionless, eyes glued to the screen.

"You're staring," Dean said.

"Oh, sorry." Castiel looked away.

"Go ahead."

"Huh?"

"Dean didn't even look up from his computer. "You have something to say."

Castiel blinked. "How-"

"I just know. Go ahead."

"Well... you... Do you feel?"

Dean stopped typing and looked at Castiel, eye brow raised. "Do I feel?" He said slowly. "Of course I do. I am human, Castiel."

"But you said you don't have a conscious."

"So? I don't feel remorse. That doesn't mean I don't feel anything. I feel anger and happiness and excitement and frustration, just like everyone else. Maybe a lit more intense but yes, I can feel."

Castiel thought about Dean's words for a moment. "Can you love?" Dean seemed to think it over, like he wasn't even sure himself. Dean hummed, fiddling with his bracelet.

"Yes, I suppose I can."

"Have you? Like have you even been in love?"

"Have you?" Dean countered sharply.

"Uh- no."

"Ok then," Dean said, ending the conversation. Castiel was still confused but at least he understood Dean a little more. Not much more but it was better than nothing.

"Alastair," Dean began. "Even he could feel. But he only really felt anger. Maybe lust."

"Do you ever regret killing him? Castiel asked and immediately felt like an idiot. Sociopath, duh! Dean gave him a look and Castiel smiled sheepishly. "Stupid question, I know."

Dean shut his lap tap and stood up, stretching his arms high above his head. His shirt rose up, showing just a peak of tan skin. Castiel didn't look.

"Come on."

"Come on what?"

"We're going to the store."

Castiel was shocked. Did he hear that right? _"We're_ " He asked incredulously.

"That's what I said. I need cigarettes. I thought you'd like to get out of the house. Unless you want to stay here."

Needless to say, Castiel jumped at the chance. He hasn't been outside in God knows how long. He just couldn't believe Dean was taking him out. Kidnappers never do that, do they?

Dean grabbed his keys and took Castiel out to the garage. He had a black Chevy Impala. It was a beautiful car. They got inside and Dean put in a cassette tape. The engine roared to life and they pulled out of the garage. Castiel squinted at the bright light of the sun. It was weird, being outside. Castiel smiled.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Nothing. It's just- You actually trust me enough to let me leave the house."

"Should I not?"

"No. I'm just saying. I missed the sun."

They only drove a couple minutes before Dean turned into a gas station parking lot. Dean shut off the car and turned to Castiel. "You say nothing to nobody. Try to get away, and I'll catch you, and trust me, it won't be pleasant. Understand me?"

Castiel nodded. Honestly, he hadn't even thought about trying to escape. He was just excited Dean let him leave the house.

They got out and Dean grabbed Castiel's hand, walking him inside. There was a small line so they waited. Dean kept a tight grip on Castiel's hand, watching him, as if daring him to try something. Castiel wasn't planning anything. He was focused on their intertwined fingers. To onlookers, they looked like just a regular couple. No one would have guessed their actual situation.

"Do you want anything?" Dean asked.

"No thanks."

"Come on. Drink? Chips? Candy?"

"Uh-" Castiel looked around. A bag of gummy worms caught his eye. They used to be his favorite candy. He picked them up. Dean gave him an amused look, taking the bag. They got to the front and Dean sat the candy down on the counter.

"Can I also get a pack of Menthol's?"

The cashier smiled at them as she rung them up. "You two are so cute together." Castiel smiled back, inadvertently getting closer to Dean. They would make a cute couple... "Have a nice day, guys."

They got back to the car and Dean lit up a cigarette. "Thanks for the candy." Castiel said, tearing open the bag.

"I'm starved. You want some dinner? Let's go get some food." Dean took them to the drive through of some fast food place. They both got burgers and fries. Castiel picked at the fries on the way home, passing some to Dean.

"You were very good today," Dean said once they were home. It was like a parent talking to their child. "Maybe I'll let you out more often."

"Thank you." Castiel smiled. The thought of going out again got him excited.

"We should go to the river." Dean said absently, drowning his last fry in ketchup. "Do you like the river?"

"Yeah. I just love being in the water. Rivers. Lakes. Beaches. I love them all." He finished his food and collected the trash, throwing it away.

"Wanna go smoke?"

"I don't smoke."

"I'm not talking about cigarettes," Dean said. He took Castiel up to his room and pulled out a bag of pot and rolling paper "You smoke weed?"

"Well, I'm not opposed." Castiel wasn't into drugs, but a little weed couldn't hurt, right?

Dean sat down on his bed, pulling Castiel down with him. He started rolling the joint. Castiel watched him. It was clear he'd done this many times before.He handed the joint to Castiel and lit it for him. Castiel took a deep inhale, letting the smoke fill his lungs before letting it out. He coughed once. He passed it to Dean who took a hit. They passed it back and forth for a while and soon, Castiel was good and stoned. It wasn't as bad as he thought. He felt good. Why hadn't he done this before?

"Do you like it here?" Dean suddenly asked. "Living with me?" Castiel froze, joint halfway to his mouth.

"I-" Castiel didn't know what to say. A few weeks ago, Castiel would already know the answer. Hell no. But when he thought about it, wasn't _so_ bad. He'd had fun with Dean. When Dean wasn't going crazy on Castiel, he was actually... decent. Sometimes, Castiel would look at Dean and just see a charming, good looking guy instead of a cold-hearted sociopath. Somehow, even after everything, Castiel found himself attracted to Dean. He'd grown accustomed to living here and for the most part, it wasn't too bad.

"Honestly... I kind of do."

Dean took the joint from Castiel, taking one last hit before stubbing it out in the ashtray on the bedside table. Dean had this weird expression on his face that Castiel couldn't figure out for the life of him.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you like it here?"

Castiel swallowed but said nothing. Dean was staring at him, waiting for a response. Castiel wasn't sure how to answer. He didn't quite understand why either.

"Castiel," Dean said softly, just as he had in Castiel's dream. Castiel's gaze lowered to Dean's lips. So plump and inviting. Before Castiel knew what he was doing, he was kissing Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be longer but I have to be at work like right now so I cut it a little short. I wanted to get it out today like I promised. I hope everyone is enjoying this so far. Thanks for all the love. 
> 
> And for all of those asking, we'll find out what's the deal with Dean very soon.


	10. Irresistible

  
Before Castiel could even process what he'd done, Dean broke the kiss, looking shocked. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

"I-" Castiel looked down. "Don't you like me?"

"What? Yeah. If I didn't, you'd be dead."

"So why don't you want to kiss me?"

Dean stopped, eyebrows scrunched. Castiel kissed him again and this time, Dean kissed back. Castiel was relieved. This was nothing like his dreamer. It was better.

Castiel fisted Dean's hair, deepening the kiss. Dean shoved his tongue into Castiel's mouth. Castiel welcomed it, leaning closer to Dean. It was so deep and passionate and Castiel loved it. Part was of his mind was screaming "Stop!" This was so wrong. He shouldn't be kissing Dean. He abducted Castiel. Threatened to kill him. Beat him. But another part of his mind was wanting more. He listened to the latter.

His thoughts were fogged from the weed and perhaps a bit of lust for Dean. He had no idea what was happening. He just... let it. And that's how he ended up sleeping with Dean.

It hurt like hell. Dean was... _well-equipped_. But he went slow, giving Castiel time to adjust. He was gentle and sweet, planting kisses on Castiel's skin. After the initial pain went away, Castiel found himself moaning. Unintelligent babbling and curse words were spewing out of his mouth. And then suddenly, Dean hit a bundle of nerves inside of Castiel, sending waves of pleasure throughout his body. He screamed Dean's name.

"That was so hot," Dean said in a husky voice. "Fuck, Cas. Say it again. Say my name."

Castiel obliged, moaning loudly. "Dean! Oh fuck, Dean!"

Dean grabbed Castiel's cock, sloppily jerking him off. Castiel's nails were digging into Dean's shoulders and he dragged them down his back. Castiel was seeing stars, panting heavily. He let himself go. He gave himself to Dean completely.

And when it was over and they were lying side by side, it hit Castiel.

 _He just had sex with his abducte_ r. He wasn't forced. He wanted it. He had thrown himself at Dean, the man who had him trapped in a basement. The man who abducted him and his brother. The man he was supposed to hate.

Dean got out of bed and started getting dressed. Castiel, sweaty and out of breath, just laid there. Dean buttoned his jeans and looked at Castiel. "You still with me?" He asked. Castiel tried to speak but no sound would come out.

_He just had sex with Dean_

This was all wrong. What was happening to Castiel? He should be repulsed by Dean. He should be spending his time trying to find a way to escape, not fantasizing about kissing him. But they just had sex... and it was amazing. Castiel had never come so hard. It was so intense and left Castiel's body tingling.

When they were fucking, Dean was like an entirely different person. He was... someone Castiel wanted to be with.

Dean was giving him a weird look as he grabbed his cigarettes. "Alrighty then," He muttered. "Well get up. Let's go out back."

Castiel blinked and got out of the bed, collecting his clothes. They stopped in the kitchen to grab a couple beers and went to sit on Dean's back deck. Castiel saw Dean had a pool. He hadn't noticed that before.

They sat down on the small loveseat. Dean put his feet up on the table, lighting his cigarette. He put his arm around Castiel and this time, Castiel didn't freak out. Instead, he leaned into him. Dean was warm, comforting.

It was almost like they were a real couple, sitting together on a cool summer night. Castiel found himself wishing they were. It would be so much more simple and he wouldn't have to feel ashamed of these feelings taking over him.

"What am I to you?" Castiel asked. Dean didn't answer right away. He took a couple drags and a sip of his beer first. "What do you want to be to me?" Castiel noticed Dean did that a lot. Turned things around on him so he was put on the spot.

"I don't know," Castiel answered. "It just sometimes you make me feel like nothing. You tear me down to the lowest level. But then sometimes you make me feel like I actually mean something to you."

"You're definitely not nothing." Castiel sat up to look in Dean's eyes. He thought back to the night Dean came to the basement drunk and called him special.

"Why did you pick us? Gabriel and I?""

" _You_  picked _us_. _You_ stopped for _us_. We would have done the same thing to anyone, expect the difference it we would have killed them." Castiel shuttered.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I wanted you." Dean stubbed out his cigarette and leaned in closedr. "Now let me ask you a question, Castiel." His voice was low. "What am I to _you?"_

"What do you want to be to me?" Castiel countered, repeating Dean's words.

"I couldn't care less, honestly," Dean said. "I could be anything you want. Now, what am I to you, Castiel?"

Castiel thought over the question. "A mystery."

Dean laughed, lifting his drink to his mouth. "Good answer."

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel was confused when he woke up not on a shitty mattress, but a real bed. Dean's bed. Last night, Dean invited Castiel to sleep with him. Castiel thought it was a joke but Dean was serious. Castiel was curled up next to Dean, who was still fast asleep. He looked so innocent, unthreatening, and dare Castiel say _adorable_.

Castiel noticed something on the bedside table. A gun. All Castiel had to do was grab it, put it to Dean's head, and then he was free. Dean was asleep. It'd be so easy. He could go home. Back to his normal life. He could see Gabriel again, his friends. He could sleep soundly in his own bed, not having to worry about Dean coming for him again.

But then he couldn't see Dean anymore, hear his voice, kiss his lips.

Castiel shut his eyes, cuddling closer to Dean. Castiel couldn't kill Dean, not after all Dean has done for him. Dean allowed Castiel outside. He fed him. Kept a roof over his head. And when Dean held him, he felt safe. Dean did save him from Alastair afterall. Dean protected him.

Castiel laid there for a while, listening to Dean breathe, before untangling himself from Dean. He started to get up but in a flash, a hand grabbed his wrist and he was pulled down. Dean hovered over him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dean snapped.

"The bathroom!" Castiel responded. He prayed he didn't upset Dean. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh." Dean's face softened but the suspicion never left his eyes. "Okay." He let go of Castiel and laid back down. "Go ahead."

"Thank you." Castiel kissed Dean quickly and crawled out of bed. He took care of business, washed his hands, and rejoined Dean in bed. It was only nine. It was raining out. Castiel could hear it hitting the windows. He snuggled up next to Dean again, yawning.

"Do you like waffles?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. I love waffles."

"Why don't you make us some?"

"Really?" Castiel smiled. "Okay."

Castiel followed Dean into the kitchen where Dean got out all the supplies Castiel needed. While Castiel cooked, Dean stood in the doorway to the back deck, smoking a cigarette. He was only wearing boxers. Castiel kept stealing glances at him every now and again. He was so perfect.

He seemed to be fixated by the rain, watching it fall from the sky. He stood there staring long after he finished his cigarette. Castiel almost said something but he kept quiet. Dean looked deep in thought and Castiel didn't want to risk upsetting him.

Castiel finished cooking and brought the stack of waffles over to the table. He got out plates and silverware, setting them on the table with the fork on the left and the knife to the right as Dean liked it. Castiel had picked up on a lot of Dean's habits. Dean was very particular in how he did things.

Dean still hadn't moved.

"Dean?" Castiel said softly. "Breakfast is ready."

"Hmm? Oh." Dean lingered a bit longer then shut the door, joining Castiel at the table. "Needs syrup."

"I'll get it." Castiel went over to the fridge and got out the syrup along with the butter. He set them down for Dean. He spread them on his waffles and took a huge bite. "Do they taste okay?"

"Yeah," Dean said with a mouthful of food. "Maybe you should start cooking."

Castiel laughed a little. "Nah. My cooking skills are limited to waffles and microwave dinners." That earned a small chuckle from Dean. Castiel beamed with pride. He loved when he made Dean laugh.

A few minutes passed in silence. Dean was the one to break it. "I gotta go into work today. I'm not sure how long I'll be."

"Oh." Castiel frowned. Dean never had to work on the weekends. He was hoping they would be able to do something. It was a rainy day, perfect for lying around watching movies.

They finished eating and Castiel got to work doing the dishes. Dean had this thing about never leaving dishes in the sink. He always puts them directly in the washer.

Afterwards, they went back to Dean's room where Dean allowed Castiel to shower. But just a few minutes in, the curtain opened. Dean was naked, grinning suggestively.

"Thought I'd join you." He stepped inside. Castiel got over his initial shock as Dean pinned him to the cold tile wall, kissing him deeply. It was a lot different than the kiss they shared last night. This was sloppy, all tongue and teeth. Castiel kissed back nonetheless.

Dean had Castiel's arms held above his head, his body pressed against Castiel's. Castiel could feel Dean getting hard. He was too. Dean moved down to suck on Castiel's neck, adding to the hickies he'd made last night. Castiel's head rolled back, hitting the wall, eyes shutting. Dean let go of Castiel's arms and grabbed his ass instead.

When Dean shoved one finger inside him, Castiel gasped. Dean just bit down harder. "Fuck," Castiel whispered. He was pretty sure Dean just drew blood.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," Dean growled. A shivered wracked through Castiel's body. "How does that sound, baby? Do you want me to fuck you?" His voice was so rough, animalistic almost. It scared Castiel, but hell if it didn't turn him on. His response caught in his throat. All he could manage was a small whimper. Dean didn't seem to care whether that meant yes or no.

He turned Castiel around and had him bend over, bracing himself on the wall. "How bad do you want it? Tell me, Castiel."

"I-I want it so bad," He said, surprising himself. "I want you to fuck me so hard I can't walk for a week."

Dean pushed into him so hard Castiel cried out in pain. It hurt. Bad. Dean waited for a moment to give him adjustment time but soon grew impatient. Dean moved quickly, a hard grip on Castiel's waist. Castiel clawed at the tile, needing something... anything.

After a while, Castiel got used to the stretch and was finally able to enjoy himself. He wasn't sure how long it went on. Time ceased to exist. Castiel was gone. All he could think was "Dean. Dean. Dean."

Dean half-heartedly jerked him off, until Castiel came. Dean followed shortly after. When Dean pulled out, Castiel felt empty. Dean rinsed himself and turned the shower off, climbing out. Castiel was trying to catch his breath. Dean left the bathroom, and returned with pants on before Castiel finally composed himself.

"You gonna do that every time?" Dean asked. He was towel drying his hair. Castiel shook his head wordlessly. But when he tried to move, there was a sharp pain in his backside. He winced, limping his way to the towel rack. Dean gave him a smug look. "I just did what you asked, darling."

Castiel smiled, playfully rolling his eyes. Dean grabbed Castiel arm roughly. "Don't do that. I don't like that."

"I'm sorry!" Castiel apologized quickly, heart beat speeding up. He didn't mean to offend Dean. "It won't happen again."

Dean nodded once and loosened his grip. "Go pick out something to wear. You know, we should go shopping for clothes for you so you can stop stealing mine."

Castiel got dressed with some difficulty and waited for Dean to finish getting ready. Dean was wearing his normal blue jeans and a work shirt that read "Bobby's Garage" on it. He spiked his hair up a little in the front. He looked good.

Dean gestured for Castiel to follow him. Castiel was surprised when he stopped in front of the basement door. Castiel stared in disbelief as Dean opened it. "Go on."

"But... why?"

"You think I'm going to let you stay here alone while I'm gone?"

Castiel moved his mouth wordlessly. He'd been good, he thought. "Don't you trust me?"

Dean snorted out a laugh. "Hell no."

Castiel lowered his eyes, feeling a little hurt. He thought... Dean said he liked him but he didn't trust him?

"Babe, I don't trust anyone. Inside. Now." Castiel followed the order without a fight. "Sulking's not a good look on you," Dean said, touching Castiel's face. "I'll be back in a few hours and we can go for round two, ok?"

"Ok."

Dean kissed Castiel and shut the door, locking it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Okay, I am so sorry this is late. I've been swamped with work and trying to sort things out with my school so I can go back in the Fall. I am going to try to update again on Monday since I have the day off but no promises this time. 
> 
> I know there are mixed feelings about the relationship between Cas and Dean, and that's to be expected. This wasn't meant to be two boys meet and fall in love without any obstacles kind of story. It's meant to be conflicting. That being said, both Dean and Cas have their issues which will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. 
> 
> Sidenote: I'm really awkward and writing smut is hard for me. I did the best I could. Forgive me if it wasn't great.


	11. Sun and Moon

"Wake up!" Castiel jumped awake and was met to a slap to the face. Castiel's heart beat sped up as his disoriented mind tried to process what was going on. He was in Dean's bed. Dean was angry and Castiel knew he was in trouble. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Nothing!" Castiel responded automatically. Dean's eyes were dark, hazy, and very angry. He got out of bed and pulled Castiel up by his hair, throwing him to the floor.

"You liar!" He kicked Castiel in the side. Castiel bit back a cry. He learned from experience it only made Dean angrier. "You fucking worthless slut! I should have killed you a long time ago!" He kicked Castiel again so hard the air left Castiel's lungs. He coughed, tears stinging his eyes.

Why was Dean doing this to him? He had been good. Obidient. Dean had been so... nice. They'd spent the last few weeks together and Castiel was starting to actually really like Dean. He should have known better. He was so stupid to let himself trust Dean. Everything Dean said and did was all an act. Dean didn't like Castiel. He fucking kidnapped him for God's sake. They would never be anything other than abducter and victim. Nothing more.

Dean was evil. One hundred percent evil. He didn't have a single good cell in his body. He was the devil, hiding behind angel eyes. What he wanted from Castiel, he's already gotten and now his true colors were showing.

But even as Dean hit him, Castiel couldn't help but feel betrayed. He did everything right he thought. He listened to Dean, never spoke out of turn. He gave himself to Dean. Castiel was such an idiot. How could he let himself grow attached to this man? This monster? How could he let himself develop feelings for Dean?

After Dean was finished with Castiel, leaving him bruised and bleeding, he dragged Castiel to the basement, pushing him down the stairs. His head connected with every step on the way down. He blacked out before he reached the bottom.

He doesn't know how long he was out, but when he woke up, his entire body hurt. The room was pitch black. Castiel tried lifting his head but then the feeling of nausea consumed him and he laid it down again. He laid in anguish, silent tears falling down his cheeks. He was crying from the pain and he was crying because even after what happened, he still felt something for Dean.

~~~

Castiel spent the next few days in complete darkness, barely moving at all. He managed to crawl over to the mattress so he wasn't lying on the cold, hard concrete floor.

When the light turned on and footsteps came bounding down the stairs, Castiel squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He was curled in on himself, trying to will himself anywhere but there.

Dean stopped a few feet away.

"Cas?" His voice was soft, almost a coo. Castiel didn't move. He barely breathed. "I know you're awake." There was a thud and Castiel opened his eyes. Dean had tossed him some clothes. "I brought you a change of clothes. Let's go watch a movie."

"No."

Dean looked surprised, like he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "Huh?"

"No. I don't want to." Castiel's side was aching and it was hard to breathe.

"You'd rather be down here alone?"

"Yes."

"The fuck is your problem?" Dean asked. Castiel managed to sit up, glaring at Dean. Dean watched his every move.

"You! Being here! I can't... Why don't you just kill me already?"

"Kill you?" Dean questioned. "Why would I do that?"

Castiel didn't respond right away and Dean didn't speak. He just stared with those stupid emotionless green eyes. Finally, Castiel spoke. "I don't want to be here anymore. Please just kill me or let me go. Please."

Dean's expression didn't change as he sat down on the floor, legs extended in front of him. "You said you liked living here."

"Well, I don't," Castiel said harshly. "I hate it."

"Why?" Dean asked, sounding truly curious. Castiel gave him an incredulous look and gestured to his bruised body. "Oh, well you deserved that."

"What? I didn't even do anything!" Castiel's voice rose, something he'd never done with Dean before. "You hurt me! Bad! Look at what you did! I'm so sick of this."

"What do you want me to say, huh?" Dean's voice was raised as well. "That I'm sorry? That it'll never happen again? You and I both know that's a lie. But if that's what you want, fine. I'm sorry, and I promise it'll never happen again. Are you happy now, Castiel?"

"No!" Castiel screamed. "I'm not! I don't give a shit what you say anymore. You're just a God damn lying, cold-hearted psycho!" You've ruined my whole life and I fucking hate you!"

Dean grabbed Castiel by his throat roughly. "I told you never to call me that," He growled. Castiel knew he'd crossed a line and he meant to. He wanted to get Dean so angry that he'd finally kill Castiel and end his suffering. But as soon as Castiel started feeling lightheaded, Dean released him. Castiel gasped for breath, holding his throat. Dean sat back, as casual as could be, like nothing even happened.

Castiel's eyes burned as he began to cry. He hated that he was crying in front of Dean. He hated that Dean could see how weak he was.

"You know," Dean said, staring at the floor. "I wasn't always like this. When I was young, I was normal, I guess. I played sports, I had friends. I actually felt remorse.

Castiel blinked because _what?_

"What changed?" Now he was curious. Was Dean finally opening up to him?

"My dad drank a lot. He'd slap me and my mom around. Sammy too. He found any excuse to beat me. Bad grade, beating. Didn't finish my chores quick enough, beating. Breathed wrong, beating. My parents fought a lot, and when I was ten, my mom told him she wanted a divorce. He freaked out, beat the shit out of her. And then he shot her right in front of me."

"Oh my God," Castiel muttered. All of his rage seemed to disappear. Dean had this weird look on his face, like he was watching it happen again.

"And then," He continued. "He made me shoot him. Couldn't do it himself." Dean laughed humorlessly, shaking his head. "He could murder his wife in front of his kid, but wasn't man enough to kill himself. I think that's when it happened. I didn't feel bad for shooting him. Police showed up, questioned me, took Sammy away and locked me up in the nut house. They said I was insane, doped me up. Gave me ECT. You know what that is?"

Castiel shook his head. Dean leaned forward, rubbing his temples. "Electroconvulsive therapy. They electrically induce seizures because they thought it'd fix me. Ten fucking years old. It wiped out my memory. Except the parts I wanted to forget.

"Dean..." Castiel was speechless. It all made sense now. It wasn't Dean's fault he was so fucked up. Castiel actually felt sorry for him. This was so wrong. He wasn't supposed to feel bad for his abducter. Sure, Casitel hadn't had the best life, with his own alcoholic father and his dead mother, but that was nothing compared to what Dean went through.

"After I was put in foster care, I was sent back to school. Rumors spread fast. The murder was all over the news. I was labeled a psycho. I'm not a fucking psycho! I'm a sociopath!"

Dean's eyes were shut. He was holding his head. Castiel scooted over next to Dean and grabbed his hand. Dean opened his eyes. Neither of them said a word. They just stared.

Castiel leaned in first and Dean followed in suit until their lips met. Dean touched Castiel's cheek with a cold hand. Castiel crawled into Dean's lap, keeping their hands clasped.

Castiel pulled away and rested his forehead against Dean's. "I'm sorry about what I said before. I didn't mean it."

"Yes you did," Dean said, but he was smiling. Castiel was going to object but then Dean spoke. "I don't blame you for hating me. Most people do."

"But you don't care," Castiel said. Dean stroked Castiel's cheek with his thumb.

"Not really."

"I don't hate you, Dean. I don't particularly like when you hit me but..." He trailed off.

Dean grabbed Castiel's hips, putting pressure on a bruise. Castiel stiffened, hissing in pain. Dean's eyes shot to Castiel's injuries. "Do you want some ice or something?" It came out awkwardly, but made Castiel smile.

"That'd be nice."

Upstairs, Dean gave Castiel a couple pain killers and allowed him to shower, joining him. Castiel was still in a lot of pain and Dean was actually mindful. They didn't go past a little bit of kissing and Dean was very gentle. He planted little butterfly kisses on his skin as he washed Castiel's body.

Then afterwards, Dean ordered them a pizza and they sat on the couch watching a movie. Castiel didn't get it. Just an hour ago, he thought he hated Dean. But now he was cuddled up on a couch with him. It was like Dean had some kind of control over him. There was something about Dean that drew Castiel towards him. Something Castiel didn't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it's been a while. Sorry for the wait. Work is killing me. I'm going to try and update on a more regular basis. At least now we have a little backstory on Dean.


	12. Falling Has a Different Meaning

Days passed quickly. Dean allowed Castiel to sleep in his bed and sit outside with him while he smoked. They ate, watched TV, and had long conversations about anything. Dean was being so kind to Castiel. Castiel liked this Dean. Castiel wanted to be with this Dean.

One morning after they finished eating, Dean suddenly said, "We have to go to the store."

"Why?"

"To get you some clothes," Dean answered. Castiel looked down at his outfit, a pair of blue jeans and an ACDC shirt.

"But I like wearing your clothes," Castiel said and regretted it instantly. A smirk formed on Dean's face. Castiel felt his cheeks go red.

"Why's that?"

"Because...." Castiel trailed off, completely embarrassed.

"Because why?" Dean pressed.

"Because they smell like you. Castiel admitted sheepishly. Deal still had that smirk as he pulled Castiel's chair towards him, kissing his cheek.

"You're adorable when you blush," He whispered in Castiel's ear, causing Castiel to blush even harder. Dean chuckled and pulled back. "Come on."

Dean drove them to the mall. He even let Castiel roll his window down. The mall was pretty crowded for a Tuesday afternoon. They had trouble finding a parking spot and Castiel saw Dean was getting frustrated so he grabbed Dean's hand, giving it a squeeze. Dean looked surprised, but actually smiled a little.

They finally found a spot and Dean shut off the car. He turned to Castiel. His face was serious. "Try anything and you'll be in trouble." Castiel nodded. "If you behave, I'll reward you tonight." He winked and then got out. Castiel followed suit. "Alright, let's go, babe." Castiel smiled at the pet name. He grabbed Dean's hand and intertwined their fingers.

Cold air hit them as they walked inside. Kids were running around, with their parents chasing after them. Teenagers were laughing loudly with their friends. Old people walked around slowly.

"So where do you usually get your clothes?" Dean asked.

"Thrift stores mostly." Dean gave him a look. "I'm a college student. I can't afford designer clothes."

"You're too good for rags, darling."

They went from store to store, Castiel picking out a couple pairs of jeans, some shirts, and underwaer. Castiel felt bad for spending Dean's money but Dean kept insisting he didn't mind. He'd pick things out, asking Castiel if he like them. He was in a really good mood which made Castiel happy. Dean was so playful, cracking jokes and pecking Castiel's lips every now and again. This was the Dean Castiel loved. _Loved?_  No... liked... a lot.

Soon, they had multiple bags from various stores, all of which Dean carried. Dean wanted to continue but Castiel said, "Ok, Dean. I think I've got enough."

"You need one more thing."

Apparently, that one more thing was a pair of swimming trunks. "I was thinking we could go to the river tomorrow," Dean said and Castiel grinned, excited at the thought.

"Really?"

"Yep."

Castiel pulled Dean all around the store, searching through the racks until he found a pair to his liking. They were a black and white plaid design. "What do you think?" Casteil asked, holding them up for Dean to see. Dean scanned over Castiel's body and licked his lips. Castiel recognized that look in his eyes. Lust.

He didn't say a word as he dragged Castiel to the dressing rooms. He pushed Castiel inside and locked them both in. The bags fell to the floor as Dean slammed Castiel into the wall, kissing him sloppily. Castiel kissed back, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck. Castiel wasn't sure what was bringing this on but he wasn't complaining.

"You're so hot, Castiel," He said in a husky voice. "Ever been fucked in public?" Castiel shook his head, holding back a groan. "Well you're about to."

Dean flipped Castiel around so he was facing the wall. Castiel heard Dean unbuckling his belt. His heart was racing faster and faster in anticipation. "Do you want to be fucked, Castiel?" Dean pressed against him. Castiel grinded his ass back, fingers clawing at the wall. "Face me. On your knees." Dean demanded. Castiel obeyed. Dean dropped his pants, along with his boxers. Castiel stared at Dean's cock and then up at Dean. "Suck it." Castiel swallowed nervously and grabbed the base, taking Dean into his mouth.

Except for Alastair, Castiel's never done this to anyone. He never wanted to. The thought of giving head used to make him sick. Not with Dean though. His only worry was not being able to please Dean.

Castiel had no idea what to do so he experimented a bit. He took as much as he could, moving his tongue around, seeing what got the best reaction out of Dean. When Castiel swallowed around him, Dean grunted, fisting Castiel's hair. Castiel made a mental note for future reference.

"Shit. Cas, stop." Dean pulled out and forced Castiel up against the wall again, face first. He yanked Castiel's jeans and underwear down. "Bend over and let me see that pretty little ass of yours." Castiel did, placing his hand on the wall to hold himself up. Dean hummed, caressing Castiel's cheeks, following the curve of his ass. He brought a sharp hand down and Castiel yelped in surprise. Dean laughed. "Come on, darling. You have to be quiet. You don't want other people to hear you. Or do you, you dirty little slut?"

Normally, Castiel wasn't into dirty talk but now it was really turning him on. Being with Dean for so long has honestly changed him. He was open to a lot more things. Like fucking in the dressing room at the mall. Castiel never would have done this before. Dean made him feel reckless. He wasn't the tentative, nervous guy he was before. He wasn't afraid to take risks, act out,  _have fun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... it's been quite a while. I am sorry for such a long wait and to come back with this garbage. I'm back in school and unfortunately, writing has been the last thing on my mind. I am going to try and get on an updating schedule, but I can't make any promises. This was more of a filler, but the story is going to pick up in a few chapters so I hope I haven't lost anyone.


End file.
